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Cheating Doesn’t Mean Your Partner Doesn’t Love You
One very widely spread misconception (that I used to share) is that cheaters do not love their existing partners. … But for those who do love their partners — there are still many reasons to fall in love and get romantic or sexual with someone else.
“Couples do and can stay together after an affair, but it takes a lot of work to repair broken trust.” Klow says most couples don’t recover when one cheats but “those that do can emerge stronger from having gone through the process of recovering from the affair.” It takes time, however.
So while it’s easy to think that cheating means that your partner doesn‘t love you anymore, that’s not necessarily that case. … Someone who cheats for love is usually searching for a deeper bond with someone, but may be too scared to leave the relationship that’s not fulfilling them emotionally, she says.
Some people cheat when they want something different in their relationship or feel like things have become a bit too comfortable. They may desire variety in their sex lives or maybe some kind of adventure to offset their routine life.
Can a cheater change his or her ways? Yes, if you give them a chance, marriage therapists say.
Men cheat for many reasons and most of the time it’s not because they don‘t love their partners. We can’t make a generalization about whether or not men regret cheating. … When your boyfriend cheats on you but you still love him, there are some good signs you can look for that suggest he does regret cheating.
Even if the love is still there, in general a woman who’s unhappy in her relationship may be more inclined to cheat. Whether because of anger, home, financial problems, family trouble—the list goes on—they may feel cheating will offer them what their current relationship isn’t.
Some people are reasonably emotionally healthy and in a wonderful primary relationship, and they still choose to cheat. And this is true for both men and women.
Some of the reasons cited as the cause for cheating may include: Unhappiness/Dissatisfaction: Dissatisfaction with the marriage either emotionally or sexually is common. … Feeling unappreciated: Feeling undervalued or neglected can lead to infidelity.
In happy relationships, someone might cheat not because they are dissatisfied with their partner, but because they are dissatisfied with themselves. … When people are happy in their relationship, it’s less likely that the partner practicing infidelity has fallen out of love with their partner.
When you cheat on someone, they’ll always be emotionally scarred. They’ll have their walls up because they don’t want to ever be hurt that way again. To feel like your world is crumbling, to believe that things like that happened, but just not to you.
Research shows it takes about eighteen months to two years to heal from the pain of your partner’s infidelity. Knowing that the pain isn’t going away overnight can be helpful, and knowing that it will eventually end is also valuable in the healing process.
Being cheated on can not only affect your self-esteem and self-worth; it can also affect the way you treat those around you. Built up anger, bitterness, or hurt can show itself in how you act around the people you encounter.
In practice, it tends to be uncommon for a relationship to survive instances of cheating. One study found that only about 16 percent of couples who’d experienced unfaithfulness were able to work it out.
Most people who have cheated on a partner don’t necessarily regret the act of cheating until they are caught. This suggests that they aren’t really remorseful for the act, but rather, regret what they are likely to lose now that the cat’s out of the bag. … It’s a lot like the reason why abusers don’t feel remorse.
“Although it can vary for each couple, a good benchmark [for how long it will take to rebuild the trust] is 1-2 years,” she explains. “An important milestone to hit is the one-year anniversary of finding out about the infidelity.
“Researchers find that partnerships characterized by dissatisfaction, unfulfilling sex, and high conflict are at higher risk for infidelity,” she says. “Also, the more dissimilar partners are—in terms of personality, education level, and other factors—the more likely they are to experience infidelity.”
Common Symptoms Following Infidelity
It is possible you could be experiencing post infidelity stress disorder (PISD), which is similar to the symptoms associated with post-traumatic stress disorder. After all, both conditions will involve trauma and a threat to your emotional security and wellbeing.
Experiencing betrayal, a form of emotional abuse, can cause various post-traumatic stress disorder. Symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares and impaired sleeping, depression, anxiety, brain fog, distrust, dissociation, are common. Betrayed partners often feel as if their reality has been shaken to its core.
Despite the initial thrill of an affair, cheating can negatively affect the cheater emotionally. It’s common for them to feel anxiety, guilt, shame, worry, regret, confusion, embarrassment, and self-loathing when they contemplate how their actions impact those they love and why they cheated in the first place.
“You can absolutely fall in love with two people at the same time,” he says. … A second person might make you feel safe, loved and deeply connected, and you’ll also fall for that person. Suddenly, your brain is cranking out dopamine for both of them because they make you feel special and loved in different ways.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjT_yYJXWCc