Just make certain you are honest and direct with the person who lied. Don’t go to others with the lie when you know it’s better handled privately between you and the liar. There are many times when reporting a lie is the right thing to do, both ethically and practically.
If a person lies, and is unrepentant about it, you are under no obligation to forgive. If the liar is sorry, you still do not have to forgive. … Even if the other person is genuinely sorry, some grave matters may not or should not be forgiven in the sense of “everything between us completely is all right again”.
“If someone you are dating or involved in a long-term relationship with has betrayed you in a way that you cannot get past — cheating, lying, addiction — then it is time to end the relationship for your own emotional health,” executive editor and founder of Cupid’s Pulse Lori Bizzoco, tells Bustle.
Experts say that it’s common for liars to get defensive during an argument.
It follows that narcissists may overestimate their lie-telling ability and report frequent lying merely because they tend to self-enhance desirable abilities. Specifically, narcissists’ self-assessments of their lying abilities and self-reports of lying may not be valid indicators of their actual lying behavior.
Liars tend to increase the duration of their pauses and they do tend to increase latency (speak more slowly). Also, contrary to common belief, liars do not necessarily look nervous. Some skilled liars can even appear to be very calm and collected. Sociopaths may also not appear anxious.
Liars smile, nod, lean forward and make eye contact while listening — characteristics that are often associated with honest and friendly people. Don’t be fooled by this; their charm is just a cover. “Ums” and “uhs” are dead giveaways of a lie, so frequent liars have learned how to think fast.
You can’t always change the behavior of a liar, but you can change how you feel and react to them. Once you learn to change your emotions about a situation you begin to see a lot more options. If you are honest with the situation you will realize that your happiness is more important than their behavior anyways.
Get Help. My work with men trying to rebuild trust in their relationship shortened the recovery time to somewhere between four and 18 months, depending on the breakdown. So, if you feel stuck and don’t know what to do next, you might want to contact me for assistance.
A black lie is sometimes considered the worst kind of lying. It is defined as “callous selfishness” and malevolence. The dictionary says it’s a “deliberate misrepresentation of facts in order to deceive.” The only purpose is to get oneself out of trouble or gain some benefit not felt to be otherwise possible.
When talking to a liar, he or she will often hesitate in their speech while thinking up a lie to fit the occasion. This could be clearing their throat, taking a deep breath or simply pausing before responding.
If you sense you’re being betrayed or even catch your partner in a lie, speak up. … A little white lie is forgivable, but a big, mean lie is not and you may need to reconsider the relationship or seek therapy.
If someone refuses to seek help for their substance abuse, lies about their use, or you notice that the problem is getting worse over time, it’s a deal-breaker.”
5. Toxic lies. As long as there are people, there will be people who lie. But chronic liars are harmful because you never know what to believe, so you can’t count on their promises or their word.
Lying quickly erodes that trust, hurting both parties in the process. Whether it is keeping secrets or telling a little white lie, lying destroys one of the fundamental pillars of a healthy relationship — trust. … Lies not only grow but they tend to become addictive especially if you have gotten away with a few already.
Pathological lying is a symptom of various personality disorders, including antisocial, narcissistic, and histrionic personality disorders. Other conditions, such as borderline personality disorder, may also lead to frequent lies, but the lies themselves are not considered pathological.