Use consistent, logical consequences. Kids need to know what to expect when they don’t listen. Listen to your child’s feelings and ask them kindly rather than in anger what’s going on. Acknowledge their side, and you can still follow through with a consequence.
Disobedience can have a variety of causes. At times, it is due to unreasonable parental expectations. Or it might be related to the child’s temperament, or to school problems, family stress, or conflicts between his parents.
Generally speaking, you can’t effectively discipline a child until they’re at least 2 years old — about the same time your toddler-age kid is ready for potty training. “If they’re ready for potty training, they’re ready for consequences,” Pearlman says.
Situational issues. Rebellion can also be a warning sign that other things could be happening in a child’s life. Scenarios like a child exposed to marital problems, physical violence, or even bullying and sexual assault can all cause a previously “well-mannered” child to become rebellious.
Disrespectful behavior often comes down to kids having poor problem-solving skills and a lack of knowledge about how to be more respectful as they pull away. Often when kids separate from you they do it all wrong before they learn how to do it right.
The line between corporal punishment and physical abuse can be blurry, but the general agreement in all 50 states is that it is always acceptable for a parent or legal guardian to open-hand slap or spank their own child.
Emotional abuse happens when a child is repeatedly made to feel worthless, unloved, alone or scared. Also known as psychological or verbal abuse, it is the most common form of child abuse. It can include constant rejection, hostility, teasing, bullying, yelling, criticism and exposure to family violence.
It’s been shown to have long-term effects, like anxiety, low self-esteem, and increased aggression. It also makes children more susceptible to bullying since their understanding of healthy boundaries and self-respect are skewed.
Punishment for Kids Who Don’t Respond to Punishment
Be clear about expectations: Give kids a chance to succeed by reminding them what is expected of them. Embrace natural consequences: When the punishment is specific to the offense and logical, kids have a better chance of modifying their behavior.
The Actual Reason Why a Toddler Behaves Differently With Mom
The reason behind this is emotional. It has to do with basic human emotions kids know only too well – love, and a sense of security and relaxation in the presence of the one you love.
“Honor thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee” (Deuteronomy 5:16a). Disrespectful actions of children, no matter their age, are abhorred by God, and there’s no place that’s worse to see the disrespectful actions of children than in a homeschooling family.
By the age of 1, children discover that biting, pushing, and hitting are effective ways of showing anger. When a 2-year-old feels threatened, he’s likely to respond with aggressive actions – and may not realize that those actions cause pain. Twos still don’t have the words or patience to express their anger verbally.
Many 5 year-old tantrums and not listening problems occur due to lack of consistency. If you have a particular set of rules or way of doing things that work, then stick to it. Too often parents have a system in place that works but then they deviate from it and problems occur.