A straightforward confrontation may be the best way to address your best friend’s lying. Stay calm, call out the lie, and ask them to explain themselves. Use “I” statements to cut down on defensiveness. You might say, “I know you lied to me about having plans this weekend.
When Friends Lie Because It’s the Only Way They Know How to Protect Your Feelings. One of the biggest reasons friends lie is simply to avoid hurting your feelings. Questions like, “Does this skirt look good on me?” or “Do you think I can sing?” might prompt a little white lie or an avoidance of telling the blunt truth.
If a person lies, and is unrepentant about it, you are under no obligation to forgive. If the liar is sorry, you still do not have to forgive. … Even if the other person is genuinely sorry, some grave matters may not or should not be forgiven in the sense of “everything between us completely is all right again”.
But if your friend is hung up on an ex or something, you might want to just be a good listener. … Don’t lie to your friend if it’s something that could be hurting them. But sometimes, you can make things easier with a little white lie and no one gets hurt.
Pathological lying is a symptom of various personality disorders, including antisocial, narcissistic, and histrionic personality disorders. Other conditions, such as borderline personality disorder, may also lead to frequent lies, but the lies themselves are not considered pathological.
Liars smile, nod, lean forward and make eye contact while listening — characteristics that are often associated with honest and friendly people. Don’t be fooled by this; their charm is just a cover. “Ums” and “uhs” are dead giveaways of a lie, so frequent liars have learned how to think fast.
Pathological liars get extremely angry when confronted with proof of their falsehoods. They often balk at innocent questions about their fabrications. Many pathological liars believe their lies and find it more comfortable to lie than tell the truth. … When questioned or confronted, they revert to anger and hostility.
The best way to uncover a lie, he advises, is by asking more questions and drilling down to specifics. “If you are asking someone if there are any tax liabilities and they ventilate, well, that has to be resolved and the only way to do that is to ask more precise questions.
You can’t always change the behavior of a liar, but you can change how you feel and react to them. Once you learn to change your emotions about a situation you begin to see a lot more options. If you are honest with the situation you will realize that your happiness is more important than their behavior anyways.
Liars tend to increase the duration of their pauses and they do tend to increase latency (speak more slowly). Also, contrary to common belief, liars do not necessarily look nervous. Some skilled liars can even appear to be very calm and collected. Sociopaths may also not appear anxious.
Lies obviously hurt the person who is lied to (most of the time), but they can also hurt the liar, and society in general. The person who is lied to suffers if they do find out because: They feel badly treated – deceived and manipulated, and regarded as a person who doesn’t deserve the truth.
Experts say that it’s common for liars to get defensive during an argument.
Humphreys explains that lying to friends is never good, because “once the lie is exposed, it undermines trust,” which is one of “the fundamental aspects of friendship.” Not only does it hurt the person you lied to, but it can even hurt the person who told the lie, since “it can eat away at and weigh heavily on the …
Protecting someone else from harm is the next most important reason why people tell serious lies. You don’t want your friend, you fellow worker, your sibling, your spouse – anyone who you care about — to get punished, even if you don’t agree with what the person you are protecting did that put him or her in danger.
It follows that narcissists may overestimate their lie-telling ability and report frequent lying merely because they tend to self-enhance desirable abilities. Specifically, narcissists’ self-assessments of their lying abilities and self-reports of lying may not be valid indicators of their actual lying behavior.